so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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