Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
