i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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