I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
How external is "for external use only"?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
you never un-have a 4some
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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