Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Randomize
