I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize