I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
