Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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