She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize