I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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