Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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