I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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