Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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