Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
