if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
