anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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