three words: i give head
three words: not that well
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
