At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize