I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
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I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
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I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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