I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!