i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.