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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.

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• (305): View more from Florida

  The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  where do you find these guys?

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• (210): View more from Texas

  Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  NO TEQUILA

  (1-907): View more from Alaska

  Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  Give me weed or give me death?

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.

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