Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter

  (310): View more from California

  your less of a man for seeing that

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  (201): know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter (310): your less of a man for seeing that http://tfl.nu/root
  Replies (13) Good night (952) Bad night (3577)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.

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  (785): Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk. http://tfl.nu/cv1z
  Replies (45) Good night (7802) Bad night (893)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.

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  (303): You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher? (720): Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced. http://tfl.nu/qahj
  Replies (35) Good night (12953) Bad night (1486)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.

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  (818): im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically. http://tfl.nu/np2a
  Replies (23) Good night (2075) Bad night (6690)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"

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  (918): My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?" http://tfl.nu/ksw8
  Replies (13) Good night (5216) Bad night (1082)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.

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  (713): I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups. http://tfl.nu/3y6t
  Replies (16) Good night (3934) Bad night (1224)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.

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  (262): Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour. http://tfl.nu/rkpz
  Replies (5) Good night (2628) Bad night (1148)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear

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  (805): No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear http://tfl.nu/ak00
  Replies (5) Good night (1677) Bad night (1341)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.

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  (229): My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits. http://tfl.nu/0r0j
  Replies (6) Good night (1630) Bad night (1084)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.

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  (306): We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit. http://tfl.nu/ure1
  Replies (1) Good night (694) Bad night (1051)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.

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  (860): The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop. http://tfl.nu/d7w3
  Replies (3) Good night (3197) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.

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  (703): But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face. http://tfl.nu/3za0
  Replies (4) Good night (984) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"

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  (973): Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American" http://tfl.nu/vpvu
  Replies (0) Good night (273) Bad night (498)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile

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  (585): this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile http://tfl.nu/57e7
  Replies (0) Good night (753) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.

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  (832): 30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee. http://tfl.nu/6d16
  Replies (2) Good night (142) Bad night (365)

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