Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Sorry my hands just texted you
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize