my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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