I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
