We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
