If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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