Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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