Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
