i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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