does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
