put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
