Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize