Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
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