My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
