I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
