I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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