My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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