I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
