Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
