She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
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did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
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AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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