I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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