awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
