My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
