did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
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I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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