in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
