I wannas sexs uuuuu
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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