This girl is more easily done than said...
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
