Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
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