we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
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I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
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He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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