In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
