apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
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