so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
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