matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Randomize
