There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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