Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
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I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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