All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
