my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
