so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
