it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
